Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

It was Saturday morning. I was up, rushing around cleaning and getting the house ready for my son’s 9th birthday party with our family. I was also reminding my boys to get on with their chores because getting ready for a party is a family affair in this house — and we had a hockey game, a practice, and a team building outing to get to before the party. We had 1 hour left to get the house ready before the rat race for the day began, where we’d eventually get home just in time to greet our guests.

Most of you don’t know this, but I have been living with depression (I’ll get into that in another post — but I am not ready yet) and this party has been bringing up a lot of anxiety for me… a bigger crowd, hosting with no real option to retreat if it becomes too much, fear of people bringing it up when I don’t want to talk about it in this setting, or worse, being treated like I am somehow fragile or weak. Regardless of these feelings, life goes on, and I’ve been doing everything I can to get better every day and am grateful to be in a place where although these anxieties are rising, I am able to push through them and still have a party to celebrate my sweet 9 year old Christmas Eve baby! I am also incredibly grateful for all that I am learning and how I am growing through these hard times.

A perfect example…

This morning, through the chaos and as I was literally scrubbing toilets, my watch dinged and a text came in from my dad.

“As you are preparing for Emmett’s party today, would you like me to take him to his practice?”

I thought about it as I continued cleaning and decided to take him up on his offer. Thank goodness for dirty hands not allowing me to respond immediately saying we were good, because that was absolutely my first thought. You see, I had no reason not to be able to bring Emmett to his practice. My husband was taking the twins to their game, my oldest was being picked up by his coach for his team building outing, and I was to go to Emmett’s practice. Everything was all set, and I could… but it didn’t mean I should.

I replied to my dad thanking him and he picked Emmett up not long thereafter, while also bringing me a coffee. This gave me more time to tidy up around the house and get ready for the party… in a completely different state of mind. The stress was gone. The rush was gone. And I could actually enjoy getting everything ready. And guess what else? I also had enough mental space and energy to let inspiration hit me for this blog, and even started writing it before everyone got home. That’s what happens when life slows down just a little and I welcome calm into my day.

So, in case you need this reminder today, just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should.

Accept the help, even when you don’t need it. Seek it out, even.

You’ll be grateful you did.

And guess what else? When you let someone help you, you are allowing them to fill their cups, too. Do you really want to take that away from them? Let everyone win. 🙂

“Thank you for everything you do for us, dad. I appreciate you and love you very much.”

“Don’t forget that I do this just as much for myself. I really love being with your family and seeing the boys grow up.”

Noted dad… thank you for teaching me this beautiful lesson this morning.

4 Comments

  1. Joy Kirr

    December 12, 2021 at 7:11 am

    Annick, YES! And know that people ENJOY helping other people – it’s in our nature and brings us smiles, as well. 🙂 Kudos to Dad for continuing to teach life lessons.

    1. Annick Rauch

      December 12, 2021 at 7:29 am

      Yes, Joy!! Something to always keep in the back of our minds when we don’t want to accept help! My dad is pretty amazing ❤️

  2. Susan Thorvaldson

    December 14, 2021 at 7:54 am

    Thank you for sharing your experience. Language around mental health is evolving. I don’t want to assume that I understand your experience, and I’m sure there are days and time that you do struggle. I facilitate courses on mental health and we now try to refrain from using negative connotations like struggle, because it can indicate and perpetuate an image of weakness or pity. Instead we may use terms like dealing with or living with depression. Again, I don’t want to assume I understand the issues that you face, but just thought I’d share where the conversation around mental health is headed. I hope you have a lovely winter break with time to recharge.

    1. Annick Rauch

      December 14, 2021 at 8:06 am

      I absolutely love that, Susan, and have already changed the wording in my post. Thank you for sharing! 💜

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